Want Not

Thanks to Abbey for sending this one along; I’m trying not to assume that she just called me a dummy.

Sign up now and receive your very own free copy of Navigating Your Health Benefits For Dummies.

(Actually, the language snob in me wants to know why my insurance company never informed me that I have special benefits for dummies….)

Are you a fan of the NBC show The Office? (If not, why not?) Perhaps you or someone you know would like to get a free phone call from Dwight Schrute.

It’s been a long week, here, and I am ready for a little retail therapy. Provided the price is right, of course. Let’s see what the Amazon Friday Sale has to offer this week, shall we?

Ooohhhh. I think that mood would be greatly improved by this cashmere sweater, don’t you? And what a nice gift that would make for someone.

if I were a different sort of person, I’d recommend these cookies. But I don’t want y’all to hate me when you end up weighing 800 pounds, so, um, they’re a great deal, but they’re like crack so you might want to just say no.

Weren’t we just talking about a nice wine opener the other day? I think we were. That one’s pretty nifty-looking.

I keep going back to look at this indoor grill. It has fabulous reviews. And doesn’t involve standing knee-deep in snow to have a great burger. So.

And last—but certainly not least—in this latest chapter of “Mir drools all over the Friday Sale,” I just want to issue a cheap camera alert.

That is all.

[Edited to add: I lied. Here's more. This isn't part of the Friday Sale, but if you missed the previous one and are still seeking a cheapie bed set, this one is available in Queen, King, and Cal King.]

If you’re willing to sign up for the Botox Cosmetic Benefits Program (which is presumably weekly emails about how having your face frozen is a small price to pay for fewer wrinkles), you can receive Vicki Iovine’s book, “The Girlfriends’ Guide to Staying a Hot Mama.”

Or you can just partake of my easy guide to staying hot with kids:
1) Don’t have kids in the first place.
2) Doh! Oh well!

(Hey, at least I didn’t make you listen to ads for Botox….)

I’ve avoided posting this because Coldwater Creek makes me batty with how every time I find something in Clearance that I want, when I go to add it to my cart, it turns out that it’s out of stock. But maybe I’m just lucky that way. And then a million of you sent me the coupon code, and I started thinking that maybe it’s just me, and it ends tonight, so here you go:

Save 50% off your order (no minimum) with coupon code AUTUMN. Works in the outlet, too, if you can find something that’s actually in stock.

Right now, you can get free shipping with your order of $99 or more at the Lego Store. Check out that “Store Features” scrollbox on the right, then select “Sales and Deals” to see the stuff that’s marked down. (For example: Maybe now you can get that special someone that Ferrari he’s always wanted!)

Has Junior been begging you for an electric guitar? Have you commenced stabbing forks into your eardrums to drown out his relentless begging?

Then I have two pieces of excellent news for you!

First, because you already stabbed yourself in the eardrums, you won’t be able to hear him practice. Second, right now you can pick up this Yamaha guitar with accessory kit and amp for just $99.99 shipped. It’s not the greatest guitar out there, but it is a great price on a starter set-up.

And it comes in your choice of red, blue or yellow. Because it’s just that cool.