December 12, 2007 | Retail gone wrong, Bragging on a deal

I have to share this because it’s too funny to keep to myself.

So you know how a few days ago one of the gazillion Amazon deals I shared was deeply discounted cookie sheets on the 4-for-3 deal?

If you know me, you know I likes me some cookies. You may or may not also know that I’ve been baking on some cookie sheets that were a wedding gift… from my first wedding. (Let’s do the math: Hello, 14-year-old cookie sheets!) So I went ahead and picked up 4 new cookie sheets for a grand total of $18.

The first funny thing is that I didn’t pay much attention to the sheet size, and each sheet is easily the size of two of my old sheets. So I now have enough cookie sheets to bake for the entire eastern seaboard.

The second funny thing is that Amazon sent each sheet in a separate box. This is one of the things that drive me insane about Amazon, all the boxes. But recall what I said above—the sheets are really large. And boxes are huge (easily large enough for 8 sheets apiece). So I opened the door for my kids this afternoon and there was a stack of boxes there taller than they are. And the kids got very excited, and were crushed to discover the tower of boxes was… really only four cookie sheets.

December 10, 2007 | Retail gone wrong

Alert reader Deb was kind enough to alert me to this.

And, um, that’s all I have to say about that.

December 6, 2007 | Product Talk, Retail gone wrong

I don’t generally have a problem with products being marketed specifically at one gender or another. I mean, most boys I know are not interested in a hair salon play set. Most girls I know do not find Beyblades the awesometastic wonderfulness that boys generally do. So I get it.

But you know what? I draw the line at a learning globe specifically for girls. I was just talking with a friend yesterday (hi, Dorothy!) about how great those learning globes are, and how they’re a hot item right now. Never once did it occur to me that girls aren’t allowed to like globes unless they’re pink and—I swear, I nearly fell over when I read this in the product description—come with a cookbook. Seriously??

If you’re in the market for such a thing, I suggest you get a smart, gender-neutral model that will be used for years. Check out the Leapfrog and Oregon Scientific versions (not currently marked down much, but keep your eye on ‘em). Someone is buying those pink monstrosities; lots of someones, in fact, or they wouldn’t keep selling them. We need to start sending the message to manufacturers that there’s no need to pander to our girls when it comes to educational products.

November 29, 2007 | Hot Hot Hot!, Retail gone wrong

I’m not sure I want to buy anything edible from a place called The Graveyard Mall. Just sayin’.

Nevertheless, I’ve ordered (non-edible) things from them before, so if you find yourself desperately in need of a dozen giant Hershey’s kisses I guess they’re your guy.

November 8, 2007 | Retail gone wrong

I have never, ever understood the phenomenon of the “hot holiday toy.” That’s partially because my tightwad nature dictates that 90% of my holiday shopping is done by the time the big toy for the year rolls out, and partially because I just don’t feel it’s my parental duty to buy my kids everything for which they beg. (Because, seriously, if I did we’d not only be broke, we’d be living crammed into a house filled with sugary breakfast cereal and farm animals. That just seems like a disastrous combo.)

So last year’s furor over TMX Elmo made me shake my head a little, but the bid for this year’s hot Elmo—TMX eXtra Special Edition Elmo—has me even more boggled. First of all:

This new Elmo is packed with hidden silly surprises that can only be discovered when kids play, pose and tickle Elmo in the right sequence!

Wow. That sounds awesome. There is nothing a toddler likes better than having to do something exactly the way someone else tells them to!

And second: $39.99? For a battery-eating stuffed animal? More power to you if you get one, I guess. Also, I have a bridge for sale that we should discuss. I’m willing to sell it to you cheap!

October 22, 2007 | Retail gone wrong

I know, I know—to each their own, and who am I to judge?

Well, I’m judging. I can’t help it. All I’m saying is, these coconuts are supposedly on clearance, and where I come from, $400 for a coconut is too much money no matter what it does. I mean, unless it mops the floors, does the dishes, brings you breakfast, and gives you a nice massage afterwards. That might be worth it. But I’m pretty sure that’s not what these do.

October 4, 2007 | Retail gone wrong

… this offends me so, but it does. Maybe I feel like it’s the crashing together of every retail trend of the last few years.

But at least it’s 50% off….

August 5, 2007 | Retail gone wrong

No, really.

Would you keep this in your liquor cabinet? It’s fine wine for your canine. In—wait for it—barkundy.

July 23, 2007 | Retail gone wrong

One of the sites with whom I’m an affiliate sent me a “this weeks deals” sort of email, and that’s fine because most of the sites I work with send me various sorts of deal alerts.

The problem I’m having is that this particular site (which shall remain nameless) headlined this edition as BACK TO SCHOOL SAVINGS and then the next thing I see is a special deal on on a Sony Playstation.

Because when it’s time to head back to the classroom, you need your pencils, your notebooks, a ruler, some crayons, and a $300 gaming console.

June 20, 2007 | Retail gone wrong

I know that this site is located in a non-English-speaking country, but I cannot decide which I find more giggle-worthy, the product itself or the copy describing it.

But in case you need a 14k gold thumb drive, you’re welcome. (It’s only $2000… why not get two?)