Never leave hippies in charge of the coffee

By Mir
June 12, 2008

So, yesterday I was perusing the grocery clearance items at Amazon which I’d linked to, because after I post a deal like that I often go in and do a bit of shopping, myself.

And then I stumbled across this little item. I cannot imagine why it’s on clearance. Truly. Why, let’s take a look at the description:

  • One 5-pound bag of 100 percent soybeans flavored with hazelnut; brews just like coffee
  • Made with organic soybeans; naturally caffeine-free with no acidity; hazelnut flavoring includes peanut extract
  • Certified USDA organic soybeans chosen for excellent taste and growing standards
  • Full-bodied flavor of gourmet coffee combined with acid-reducing benefits and goodness of soy
  • Soybeans from exclusive growers in Minnesota

“Brews just like coffee?” Um, no. Brewed coffee beans yield coffee. Brewed soybeans yield… tofu water. Yuuuuuuuuck.

Hey, even my vegan friend was moved to comment “Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.”


  1. I don’t know how. I don’t know when. But I’m convinced the apocalypse is somehow going to be linked to the abuse of soy.

  2. I’m not a coffee fan, but I know wrong when I see it. This is WRONG!

  3. Ha! I just saw something very similar on the “reduced for quick sale” rack at my grocery store. I guess everyone agrees. Though I did find two pounds of organic whole bean ACTUAL coffee for ten bucks on the same shelf. Who knows.

  4. I almost got fooled by that stuff. I’ve been on the lookout for cheap coffee.

  5. “Soy-ffee”

    Sounds like something out of Huxley’s Brave New World.

Bargain Hunt





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