I can hardly believe it, but as you read this, I’m heading out to the Caribbean. In our case, this trip was pure luck; my father decided to take everyone on a cruise to celebrate a milestone birthday, and we said, “Wow, you are looking very handsome today. And generous. And we love you a lot. We’ll go pack.”

But lots of people actually decide to go on cruises and pay for them, too. Which is why I turned to Want Not regular Patricia Babischkin, because Patricia—in addition to being thrifty and pretty—is also a travel agent who knows a lot about cruising.

Furthermore, she was happy to talk me off the ledge when I realized there was a dinner dress code and I had to pack fancy clothes in tiny suitcases and started hyperventilating a little.

Without further ado, let me turn it over to Patricia, who was kind enough to tell me—and you—some trade secrets about packing for a cruise. Spoiler alert: It’s because of her that I took several pairs of shoes out of my suitcase. I know.

Packing for a cruise can seem like a daunting task. Unlike air travel, there are no bag restrictions, which seems to offer you the option of taking your whole house and the kitchen sink, but ends up just being more confusing than ever. Add to this the endless kinds of dressing up or down for dinner and normal vacation wear and it is easy to have a strong desire to either avoid the vacation OR purchase all your clothing on board the ship.

Of course, there is the possibility that you are flying to get to your cruise, which completely negates the 10 suitcase option, but affords you a whole new problem of how to pack so much clothing in so small a suitcase. And the rule about cruising seems to include that you need two to three times the amount of clothing you normally wear in a week.

Here’s how I pack three humans for any cruise vacation. I have been cruising with my son since he was 13 months old (he’ll be 7 soon) and we go on a few cruises a year. I want to believe I have this down to a science, but the the truth is something is always forgotten (which is why I think we have replaced almost all of my husband’s tuxedo pieces while on vacation). This leads to rule one.

RULE #1: Don’t sweat the small stuff.
While it is annoying, cruise ships don’t typically go to third world countries, so if you forget something it is probably ok. There will be a sundry shop onboard (prices are a bit high—but in a pinch it works). I’ve been known to take a cab to a Walmart or a grocery in a port to pick up sudafed or something too.

RULE #2: Formal isn’t truly formal.
Those pesky formal nights seem to be the most daunting to first time cruisers. I hear from many clients who hate to dress-up or don’t want to commit so much space in the bags for formalwear. The thing is, you are on vacation, not a state dinner with the Queen of England. Ninety percent of the cruise lines out there believe formal nights are dark suit and tie or a tuxedo for men and a cocktail dress or suit for women. Rules are highly relaxed for kids—often no jacket requirement, but please don’t send them to dinner in their swim trunks.

You will see women with big gowns and women who are wearing what they wear to Christmas parties or church and everything in between. I’m big on being comfortable. My formal wear uniform (and yes, it is a uniform. I go on many cruises, I wear the same thing each time—the only person who can get sick of it is me and my husband) is a black floor length skirt and a satin jacket. I change out the top underneath for color or add a handknit shawl. My husband wears a tux (a tux I bought off eBay from a rental shop for pennies and slowly have replaced the shirt, the vest, and the tie). He will change out the tie for the two formal nights.

RULE #3: Re-wear whenever possible—within reason.
I’m not asking you to live a week in a pair of pants and two shirts. I’m asking you to be reasonable about the real amount of time you spend in your clothes everyday on a cruise ship. I figure that my day is divided into port time/pool time (on sea days) and dinner time. For the day time, I figure I ought to plan on sweating or getting my clothing dirty. I will either be going site seeing or be out in the sun. For day, I bring one complete outfit per day I’m going to be gone.

For dinnertime, I’m all about the mix and match. In a seven night cruise, two nights are formal—taken care of above; so I have to worry about 5 nights. The first night I wear what I wore onboard. (Sidenote: when I board a ship, I dress like we used to when we flew—I dress comfortable, but nice. I see better service from staff, nicer boarding photos, and I keep my skirt more wrinkle free.) So, I have my boarding skirt and I bring a pair of solid slacks. I then pack 2 additional tops (the third I have on at boarding). Again, I change them up with jewelry, shawls, or accessories. At most, I wear my dinner clothing for 4 hours, which means if I wear each item twice, I’ve worn it about one day.

RULE #4: Keep the shoes to a minimum.
Mir may have just fainted. [Ed. note: I didn’t faint, but I did gasp just a little. Also? I wore one pair and packed three, which for me is light on shoes. I also heeded Patricia’s advice and brought all flats.] I only ever have 4 pairs of shoes onboard with me. My husband has four pair and my son takes two (he doesn’t own many shoes). I take two pair of comfortable walking shoes (whatever that means to you—for me it tends to be a nice comfy sandal (one I could wear to dinner if I needed to) and a pair of tennis shoes. In Alaska, where I did more adventurous stuff the sandals were replaced with hiking shoes, not boots); one pair of cheap flip flops/sandals for the spa or pool; and one pair of dress shoes. My husband will take a pair of tennis shoes; a pair of deck shoes (he can also wear these on casual nights); a pair of pool shoes; and his dress shoes. My son is a sandal or tennis shoe kid.

Now, if you take my advice about the dinner time attire, then one pair of shoes ought to go with all your outfits. Ladies, also, please leave the really high heels at home. The ship is a moving creature, thus the floor moves, and if you hit any rough weather they are going to ask you to wear flats anyway. Yes, a wedge might be fine—but I would remind you to think comfort over style in your footwear.

RULE #5: If you think you are going to need it before dinner the first night, carry it on with you.
Checked baggage comes in spurts throughout the afternoon and while the ships are masters at moving bags to your cabin, you might need somethings before you get your full wardrobe. Some key things to put in your carry-on are all medications, jewelry/valuables, cameras, laptops, and boarding pass/documentation/passport/credit cards. Somethings that only those in the know think to add to this list are swimsuits (to be able to be in the pool without the crowds who are waiting for their bags OR to see sailaway from the hot tubs); a book/puzzles/knitting—basically something to entertain yourself (the ship isn’t at high entertainment in the first few hours of boarding—the crew is focused on getting you your bags, getting ready to leave, and they expect you to be unpacking and touring the ship… you might be bored, bring a book).

RULE #6: Completely unpack once you get your bags.
When we stay in hotels it isn’t common to completely unpack your life into the drawers and closets and cabinets in a hotel room. There is often enough room for an open suitcase to live in a corner and that system just works. Not so in a cruise cabin—room is tight. Take the time to use the hangers and the drawers and empty the bags—they store nicely under the beds. I go so far as to completely move into the bathroom and spread out, as best as I can. We declare a cabinet to be the toy cabinet (the boy is 6) and that is where we stash toys and stuff for him—he helps clean-up so we don’t have matchbox cars all over the place all week. The bonus plan of this is that when I’m done wearing an outfit, I put it away in the suitcase and I’m packing all week.

RULE #7: Bring unexpected things.
Over the years I’ve built a little bag of stuff I bring on cruises to make my life easier—this is stuff I’ve never needed in your average hotel room.

1. A power strip. We bring two laptops, two cameras (soon to be three), a DVD player, iPods (times three), plus hairdryer and such. There are never enough plugs for my electric family. The addition of a single power strip makes my life easier and keeps the batteries charged.
2. A foreign converter. You saw that they are wired for the US 110, right? Well, did you know that the majority of the ship also have the plugs that the British use too? That’s twice the power plugs in your room if you have one of those handy converter things.
3. A clear folding shoe rack. One of the ones that hangs on the door. I put this on the door to the bathroom. Since space it at a premium, I use it to put bottles of sunscreen, extra batteries, toiletries that I want off the counter, um, even shoes. If it is clear you can see what’s in the pockets. It doesn’t take up much room in your bag and is a life saver when you need to control clutter with three plus people in a small cabin.
4. A foldable extra bag. I prefer some old soft sided luggage I got from LandsEnd when I left home for college. It folds so small and lives in the outside pocket of my big bag. I don’t buy a whole lot while I’m away, but for reasons I think are as complicated as String Theory, all items that you packed expand when exposed to vacation. This gives you a bit of room coming back if you need it.
5. Pad of Post-Its. They just come in really handy. One of the first things I do is put one Post-it per day of my cruise on the mirror. I write in the shore trips I’ve planned, special dinners, or cocktail parties. I add things like events on the ship we want to go on or kids’ club hours. Every morning, I tuck that day’s post-it in my pocket and go my merry way. We miss very little this way and I always see the plan in front of me.
6. Personal cards. Like the old fashioned calling cards. I don’t carry business cards with me—for one, I’m a travel agent and I can get in big trouble if it looks like I’m drumming up business on board a ship—but mostly, when I meet people on board I’d like to keep up with on dry land, I want them to use my personal contact information. In a pinch, your business card works—but personal cards are a bit classier, especially if you have any sort of sales job/business.
7. A small handbag. I don’t carry a purse on board a ship. I also loathe those key things that go around your neck. I do like to have something with me to keep a few needed items (like my room key). Though I tend to put as much as possible in my pockets, I’ve used my need to have knitting close at hand to tuck my stuff in a small bag. Finally, I got something I like, it has a zipper and a handle. Pretty basic, but I can carry it when I don’t have pockets or need something bigger. On shore, I carry a backpack (daypack sized) that holds all my family’s gear (then I try to ignore my husband’s calling me “Pack Wife.”

RULE #8: Do not forget that you will not see 99% of these people again, EVER.
This was one of those ah-ha moments in my life. I don’t have to dress to impress on a cruise ship, I can be my most comfortable self (within a reasonable dress code). I don’t need to lose 10 pounds before I wear that swimsuit—trust someone will look at worse than you at the pool. I can wear the comfy shoes or the floppy hat. In the end, it is vacation and what you wear shouldn’t be major work.

The other part of this rule is that I don’t have to wear anything I wouldn’t normally wear. I’m a mom and I wear, like so many of us, the mom uniform much of my life. And you know what I wear on the ships? Yup, the mom uniform. I stopped a few years back wearing my linen slacks during the hot days and my country club casual at night. There isn’t anything wrong with that, but relax and be yourself—both at dinner AND in your clothing choices.

My point is if you aren’t going to be forever BFF’s with all these people, why are you trying to impress them with your fancy shoes and different outfits all the time. Save the space in your suitcase (and the luggage fees at the airport) and be comfortable.

You are smart and I shouldn’t have to mention this, but… don’t bring firearms, fireworks, booze (there are exceptions on some lines for bottles of wine—check your cruise contract, also known as the legalese that prints with your boarding pass), Illegal drugs… basically, let’s use the if you can’t bring it on an airplane you probably can’t bring it onboard—or use the “common sense” standard.