People, I get a lot of pitches. Tons. I seem to be on every PR list in these consumer-oriented United States. And sometimes I get pitched something that makes complete sense for Want Not—a new coupon service, or some bargain product—but the majority if the time, I am pitched things that make no sense whatsoever.

There’s the Did You Not Read The Site fails: These include invitations to couture shows, $150/tube mascara, or new information about luxury getaway holidays.

And then there’s the Dear God No, Just Stop fails: This morning, for example, someone pitched me a (make-up) concealer… for the feet. I already have concealer for my feet—they’re called shoes. (See also: Really? No, c’mon now… really?)

But occasionally I get a pitch for something that ends up being interesting. And so it was when a nice gentleman asked me if I’d like to try SmartMouth mouthwash. At first I was all, “Mouthwash? Um, no thanks.” But then he said it would prevent bad breath for 12 hours at a time and I said, “Okay, I don’t believe you. Send me a sample.”

Is Want Not a blog about mouthwash? More specifically, is Want Not a blog about mouthwash that’s really expensive? No. Obviously. But I’ve always said I’m not just about cheap, I’m about quality; so if this stuff does what it says it does, well, that’s worth knowing about, I think.

SmartMouth says it uses “clinically proven zinc ion technology.” I say SmartMouth uses the ground up remains of magical fairies, because this stuff is unreal. Like, crazy, waitaminute, what exactly did I put in my mouth-level unreal.

Allow me to explain: I used it one night before bed, after brushing my teeth. And in the morning? No morning breath. I mean (and you are going to be so delighted I shared this with you, but we’re all friends here), my teeth still felt a little fuzzy in the morning and obviously needed to be brushed, but my breath smelled… neutral. Which was weird.

Upon using it again, that morning (again, after brushing), I noticed that nothing I ate that day lingered on my breath. And I ate spicy Indian leftovers for lunch, too. And… nothing. I didn’t smell minty all day, but neither did I find myself thinking, “Wow, I need to chew a piece of gum or go brush” as I would, normally.

Whatever that zinc ion technology is, they’ve nailed it. They have turned this skeptic into a believer.

SmartMouth is a lot more expensive than regular mouthwash. I am cheap, and I don’t suffer from a chronic halitosis issue, so the chances of me buying this to replace my regular, daily mouthwash are somewhere between slim and none. That said, two things:

1) The directions call for mixing four pumps from each bottle for every rinse session. I found two pumps from each bottle seemed like plenty. So I’ll get twice as much usage from this set as I’m “supposed” to.

2) I will likely now save the SmartMouth for special occasions like days when I have job interviews, speaking engagements, or hot dates. (Note to husband: Wanna go on a hot date? I have magical mouthwash!) The “no morning breath” thing is nice but really, who cares; on the other hand, the “no lingering food smells” thing could be amazing on a day when you have to eat with people and impress them.

Bottom line: SmartMouth does what it says it does. I think this is too expensive for mere mortals to use as a daily mouthwash unless you regularly roll around in money, but it’s probably worth the investment to use for select occasions. And I will definitely keep an eye out for it to come down in price.