Because pants are implied

By Mir
August 10, 2010

My son—a.k.a. Literal Boy, Extremely Specific Superhero—has taken to pointing out every “No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service” sign we see and announcing that he would like to try going in there without any pants on, just to see what would happen. “It doesn’t say you have to wear pants,” he says. Every time. Does this sound clever? It was sort of clever, the first couple of times. Now I just sort of want to strangle him with his pants and be done with it.

Anyway, as we all know, the necessity for pants is always implied. Should you want some new bottoms at your house, you might want to shop Lee Jeans online this week. Through August 12th, 2010, coupon code AUGFS ships any order for free.

There’s quite a selection of bottoms on sale for men and boys, assuming you don’t (like me) have one who yearns to enter the drugstore naked.


  1. This reminds me of a rather literal guy I knew way back. When told he couldn’t enter an establishment while wearing shorts, he removed them then and there, much to the chagrin of the seating hostess. Never got arrested for indecent exposure, surprisingly.

  2. When my grandson was about four, his dad and I took him to a nearby Chinese restaurant, where he spilled so much stuff on himself that we just had to take his pants off. We met his mom on the way back to the house, and I told her that I wanted her to know we didn’t take her son to the restaurant naked. We took him there and *then* got him naked. Much better, don’t you think?

  3. LOL…we had a car-sickness adventure that led to dragging the then-3-yr-old into Steve and Barry’s wearing nothing but sneakers and a Pull-Up. He came out dressed to the nines…

  4. Many years, many states, and many cities ago, we once encountered a very small child wandering outside pantsless. The child was probably around 2-2.5, so he could talk, but only people very used to listening to him could understand. Which did not include us. We kept asking him where his pants were, and trying to talk him into returning to his house. (Which we felt certain was on our block, probably very nearby.)

    The phrase, “Where are your pants? You can’t go outside without your pants!” has become a family joke.

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