Everyone, this is Groupon. Groupon has come here today to discuss its sweet tooth in a warm and supportive environment. Please join me in making it feel welcome, won’t you?
You’d think that would be enough for Groupon, but no; the sidebar Seattle Groupon today is $28 for a $58-value, 2-gallon popcorn tin from Popcorn Chef, and the sidebar deal for the Fort Wayne Groupon is $12 for $25 worth of treats from Mrs. Prindable’s.
Groupon knows it has a problem, and it’s here for help. We don’t judge you, Groupon. Admitting you have a problem and taking this first step was huge and so very, very brave. Bravo! Just, uh, wait here for five minutes, would you? I have a little bit of shopping to take care of before we continue this conversation….