Hey! I finally figured out what the Amazon Friday Sale reminds me of! Oh well, no matter; let’s see what they’re up to this week.

Problems in the marketing department: How can it be touchless if you have to shake it?

Wrong mental image: I am not interested in any beauty product with the word “freeze” in it.

A new campaign waiting to happen: Know how Hallmark is for when you care enough to send the very best? Here at Want Not, we care enough to send the very cheapest.

All it needs is a little basket: Totally retro-cool (or this one, for a bit less).

Missing a crucial element: I am extremely tempted by this, but I need one that comes with some bungee cords to tie me on it if it’s going to be of any use.

If you forgot to pick one up: This is a great price, not to mention a good filler item if you’re wanting to get up to $25 for free shipping.

Yes, please: Mmmmmm… warm towels.

Nothing says “I love you” like clean rain gutters: Give your honey a subtle hint with this telescoping ladder (he won’t mind; it’s cool and at a great price).

You say Makita, I say Mikado: I don’t know much about this, except that it does stuff and makes the tool-inclined men around me start grunting when they see it.

Happy Friday, everyone! Remember—friends don’t let friends pay full retail.