Look; I know hot dogs aren’t exactly health food. I soothe my conscience by buying the beef ones. They’re probably not any healthier, but for whatever reason I feel like maybe they are. I know I’m deluded. No reason to tell me.
My absolute favorite kind of hot dog are the free ones, though. Starting at 9:00 Eastern time (that’s about 10 minutes from now), Oscar Mayer is giving away free beef franks, or at least a coupon for them. Thinking about how I got them for free will, one assumes, keep me from wondering how many bug parts are hidden in there. (You’re welcome!)