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I don’t judge

Listen, it’s been a long year. We all have our coping mechanisms. If yours is chocolate, I say good for you. And so if you need a giant jar of Nutella, especially when it’s marked down to an all-time-low price of just $6.63, I say enjoy.

I also say I would never just eat it straight from the jar, but who can say if that’s true? You’ll never catch me.

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The whole fruit, and nothing but the fruit

Hello! For better or for worse, I am ordering a lot of things from Amazon lately. It means I don’t have to go out, and because I have Prime, stuff arrives fast. Also I have been spending my coronavirus vacation (hahahaha*sob*) baking and sewing and sitting and eating, so I am now looking for some healthier snack options on account of many of my pants appear to have shrunk lately. It’s a mystery!

I just bought this 48-pack of Stretch Island fruit leather for $8.58, because 1) that’s the cheapest it’s ever been and 2) it’s nothing but fruit, with no added sugar. Also 3) I’m hungry.

Anyway, thought that one was worth sharing if you’re looking for some not-so-terrible-for-you, shelf-stable snacking.

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Calling all gluten-free pancake lovers

Listen; if you know me, you know I make most food from scratch, but that doesn’t mean I don’t occasionally like a shortcut. King Arthur Flour gluten-free pancake mix is my favorite GF box mix and right now Amazon has a 6-pack available for just $11.60 shipped (or less when you buy via Subscribe & Save). That’s way cheaper than my supermarket, and aren’t we all supposed to be stocking up for this pandemic or something, anyway?

Plus my lazy (supposedly adult) kid loves this stuff and would never make pancakes from scratch. It’s a win all around.

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When you need a little treat

I bought these the last time they were on sale like this, and may have audibly gasped when I saw they were on special again.

Amazon has their Dove 18-pack of 100-calorie milk chocolate bars currently on sale for $4.50 (free shipping with Prime). Even better, you can opt to order via Subscribe & Save and save another 5% (but, more importantly, it can help get your monthly total up for better savings on other items). They won’t ship until they’re back in stock, but at that price, who cares? I love having a small candy bar option around when only chocolate will do.

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Helloooooo chocolate bars

Maybe you have a kid away at college. Maybe you’re planning for Easter baskets. Maybe you just really enjoy chocolate. I don’t judge, on account of I believe that chocolate is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Whatever the reason, this deal is too good to pass up: Amazon currently has this Hershey Candy Bar 18-pack (6 each of full-sized milk chocolate bars, Kit Kats, and Reese’s Cups) listed at $11.84, which is already a decent price. But you can also buy it on Subscribe & Save (saving an additional 5% or 15%, depending on the number of items this month), plus there’s a 20% off clippable coupon. You could end up paying just $7.20 for 18 full-size candy bars, shipped!

Maybe don’t eat them all at once, though.

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The plague is upon us

Well, I suppose I shouldn’t complain. We made it to February before everyone started getting sick, and despite my faux-cheery (if slightly cough-filled) and repetitive “This is the cold that never ends, it just goes on and on my friends…” singing, I suspect eventually we will recover.

In the meantime, here I sit, atop a mountain of Kleenex, shopping for echinacea. True story! And so I happen to know that today Vitamin Shoppe has a great coupon—code HEARTDAY will take 25% off your $100+ order, plus you’ll get free shipping. And while it’s true that I am not planning to buy $100 worth of echinacea, they do carry all kinds of protein bars and such I tend to pick up for my supposedly-adult children, so I’m in.

They also have an additional 10% off when you sign up for Auto Delivery, which is like our beloved Subscribe & Save savings. Remember you can sign up for that and cancel later if you don’t want it to actually keep shipping.

There’s tons of sales/deals/BOGOs in addition to the coupon, and I don’t know what you need, but probably you do. Hopefully I didn’t already sneeze on whatever you’re planning to buy.

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Subscribe & Save (and save some more)

Looking for an item or two to round out your Subscribe & Save items at Amazon for the month so you can get to the 5+ threshold and save an extra 15%? I can usually get there pretty easily with the usual suspects (cleaners! oatmeal! cereal bars! face moisturizer!), but sometimes I find myself looking for a cheap item to put me over the top. Of course I don’t want to buy something we won’t use, either.

If you’re in the same boat this month, allow me to suggest you grab this 27-ounce canister of Snyder’s pretzel rods, currently down to $2.79. That’s a great price, anyway, but with Subscribe & Save 15% off on top of that, you can get it for $2.37 delivered (probably less than it costs to ship it to you…), plus if it tips you over into 5+ items you’ve got the additional savings on everything else in your order, too.

These are perfect for handy dorm or classroom food, or for doing a “snack craft” (Pinterest is full of ways to make pretzel rods into gourmet-looking candy), or even for your favorite spouse who just really likes pretzels. (We usually get the giant barrel of sourdough pretzel twists at Costco, but I think this will do in a pinch.)

My favorite part, though, is that the first “Customers who bought this also bought” item it’s showing me is gluten-free crackers. It’s like Amazon knows I’m bitter about not being able to eat them.

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Candy for Valentine’s Day, or just because you like candy

It’s true, I spent 18 years being the Mean Mom, the You Don’t Need More Candy Mom, and now that my kids are in college I regularly pick up obscene amounts of candy on sale to stock their dorms. Why? I tell myself it’s to make sure they have enough to share with their friends (and maybe enough to make new friends…), but there’s definitely some element of “You’re grown now and I get to be fun” in there, too.

Whether you have kids in the dorm or kids who need to make 32 valentines to pass out to classmates next month or you’re ready to stock up for next Halloween, or, heck, no kids at all and you just like candy, right now Amazon has this 31.9 ounce bag of Skittles and Starburst available for $8, which isn’t too bad. Buy it on Subscribe & Save to get free shipping and up to an additional 15% off (if you have 5+ monthly items), and clip the 20% off coupon, too. You could end up with nearly two pounds of candy (honestly, 31.9 ounces? why not add one or two more pieces and go for the full two pounds?) for just over $5 shipped.

(Let us not comment on me posting this the day after I found you a toothbrush deal. I swear it’s a coincidence.)

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The less-messy way to stuff a stocking with cake

Stocking stuffers are their whole own thing in my family, and aren’t limited to the traditional orange in the toe and a few chocolates. (For example: My daughter gets packets of veggie broth concentrate every year, and has since she went vegetarian almost a decade ago. Why? I don’t know. She just does.) In our house, the weirder the better.

Cake seems like it wouldn’t work well in a stocking, but what if it was this completely dorm-friendly (or little-kid-after-school-friendly) box of Duncan Hines mug-size cookies-and-cream cake mixes? Reviews are mixed, but personally I’m not expecting an envelope of microwave cake mix to be either health food or a gourmet affair, so I’m okay with that. At just $1.25 for the 4-pack, they’re a perfect Add-On to round out a Prime order, or—better still—to get you up to your 5 Subscribe & Save orders for the month so you get 15% off of all of ’em. (You know you can do them as separate orders, right? I have two kids, so I did two separate S&S orders and now I’m up to 5, which means I’m getting them for $1.06/box.)

Take the envelopes out of the box and voila: Cake in your stocking! I bet it goes great with veggie broth.

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Emergency chewing gum is a thing, people

I carry a purse that is probably too large and I often have a weird assortment of things inside of it. There are a few things I always have, though—my wallet, my phone, my keys, some lip balm, and… a pack of gum.

Yes, gum is as important as my keys. It’s perfect for a… uhhh… breath emergency, let’s say. Or to settle a stomach if you’re not feeling great. Or to distract a complaining child. Or to offer to someone else having a rough day. Insert something cheesy about gum sticking us all together here, if you like. I’m just saying I value chewing gum.

Right now Amazon has this 18-count box of Trident Cinnamon marked down to $5.48, for some reason, but when you buy via Subscribe & Save you save an additional 5% or 15% depending on how many items you have in your order this month. Listen, the current price without additional discount is already just $.30/pack, or a couple of pennies per stick. The additional discount just makes it even more stupidly cheap.

Santa always tucks packs of gum in the toes of stockings, here, and I always have a stash on hand, too. Plus, I can always use something cheap to get me to that 15% discount for the month. Maybe you can, too? If not, I’m pretty sure I have some gum here in my purse if you need a piece.

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