Single and lonely? Not anymore!

Part of me is horrified, truly, but it is largely drowned out by the part of me that can’t stop laughing.

Grow Your Own Perfect Man Kit.

You can have it all!
The perfect man to give you the perfect life!
He’ll be rich, handsome, lavish you with diamonds
and jewels and let you spend, spend, spend.

Did you hear that? I think it was Gloria Steinem shrieking in anguish.

Unique gifts from around the world

Have you ever checked out Novica? They have an interesting array of hand-crafted items from all corners of the globe. It’s a wonderful place to shop for a gift for that person who has everything (or who has exotic taste).

There’s no tax and no shipping if you shop in the free shipping area. Find a little something you want? Use coupon code NOVICA243 for $10 off your first order (no minimum) or coupon code NGS999 for $15 off of $30 or more. (Expiration unknown on these, but they seem to run for a while.)

Happy Sunday shopping!

More shoes

Every now and then—with no pattern I’ve been able to discern—Shoes.com has a Saturday Sale. You can view it by size and sort by price, and sometimes there’s something wonderful to be had.

Today is a Saturday Sale day! Go drown your sorrows in shoes! (Oh, wait. I’m projecting again. Sorry ’bout that.)

Free shipping, free returns. Risk free!

Not sort of a card, SORTABLE cards

Here’s a fun little freebie:

Go to Post-it® Perks and register for a free sample of their sortable cards. These are index cards that will easily stick to surfaces but not to each other. (Like magic!) Jot down a recipe, then—while trying to cook it with children and animals underfoot and homework and dirty dishes and mixing bowls on the counter—stick it to a high cupboard door (away from little fingers) so you don’t lose track of it.

Or whatever. I don’t need to know what weird things you plan to do with your sortable cards. They’re free, so go nuts.

Dollar Days for teachers and homeschoolers

It’s that time of year, again! The Scholastic Teacher Store is having their much-anticipated Dollar Days Sale, with over 400 items at just $1. Items are selling out at this price quickly, though, so check it out before everything is gone.

Sweeten the deal with coupon code SCHOOL06, which will give you free shipping on any $49+ order.

Friday shopping

Overstock.com, Inc.Overstock is still running their 10% off coupon. Be sure to check out the Steal of the Dayicon—today it’s a 200 thread count Egyptian cotton sheet set. True, it’s not going to offer the ultimate luxury of some of the higher thread counts, but it’s a perfectly serviceable set of sheets, and if you’re buying for a king or cal king bed, the price is certainly right ($26.99 before coupon).

The Amazon Friday sale is offering too many things I want this week. I shall have to practice a bit of self-control, which is good for me. Or something. Hmph.

Going camping, or looking to start stocking up for next season? You might want to check out this self-inflating mat. Or perhaps this mummy sleeping bag. (Although, a bag like that is overkill for casual family summer camping. The mats are a great item to have regardless of your level of roughing-it, though, unless you enjoy having sticks and pebbles poke you in the back all night long.)

For those of you who don’t read me elsewhere, you may not know that I broke down and bought myself a Roomba from the Friday sale a few weeks back. The good news is that I got a great deal; the bad news is that it was broken; the better news is that iRobot customer service gets two thumbs up from me: they replaced my faulty reconditioned unit with a brand new one, no questions asked. Now? I love my Roomba with a deep, abiding, and slightly unholy love. Love. It. There’s another reconditioned Roomba up for sale today, and it’ll run you just $134.99 after coupon FALLSAVE. I say go for it. Everyone should have their own robot. (Mine is cleaning the kitchen right now, while I sit here at my computer. Love!)

Not that I’m encouraging you to spend frivolously. No no no! Please shop responsibly. But if you can responsibly manage to get a Roomba, all the better….

For the candle lovers

I think that I might not really be a girl, because I don’t quite understand the fascination so many of my girlfriends have with candles. I mean, okay; I like candles alright. I just can’t get excited about new scents and stuff. Plus, actually walking into a candle store at the mall sends me into an allergy seizure, what with the seven billion different flavors all just assaulting the nostrils at once.

But some people are Candle People. And candles do make a nice multi-purpose gift to keep in the gift closet. And now that you can order from Yankee Candle online, you can skip the allergy attack.

In fact, right now at Yankee Candle you can buy any two 22 oz. housewarmer candles and receive a third free with coupon code XF609A7. Good through the end of the month.

Personalized skin care samples

Here’s a fun way to get some samples you can actually use: Go to Dermalogica and fill out your face profile. Along with the results (in my case: “You are experiencing acneic skin” to which I reply “Gee, really? What was your first clue? The big zit on my chin?”), you’ll then be offered samples of the products that match your skin type.

Penny a print

Maybe you’re not printing your own photos and you’re itching for a deal on your 4″ x 6″ prints.

How does one cent a print sound? Pretty good? From now through September 16th, 2006, you can go to Clark Colorlabs and use coupon code 1PRCLK to order up to 100 prints for just a penny each. Shipping will run you less than $5 for 100 prints within the U.S., and (finally!) this is a deal that works in Canada and internationally, as well. [Edited to add: Looks like this deal is for new customers only.]

You really can’t go wrong. (Well, unless you upload a bunch of crummy photos. Don’t do that.)

Now if I could just surgically implant them

Do your kids harbor a deep and abiding love of all things walkie-talkie? Have you tried model after model, only to have them break, the batteries be sucked dry, and the battle cry of “WHAT? I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” shrieked all ’round your yard?

What? That’s just me? Fine.

I love this set because there are three of them and, coincidentally, there are three of us! And with a 6-mile range, everybody should be able to hear everybody else, no matter where we are. The kids can play with them, and I can send them with when they go play with neighbors. Plus, I can listen in while they use them. Not that I would ever do that. Ahem.

Stop looking at me like that.

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