I know that you’re all so smart and so pretty that you’re already reading Asha Dornfest’s Parent Hacks every day. Right after you read Want Not, of course.

Today the inimitable Asha brings us this great offer from Jalapenyo. Tired of tacky e-cards? Make your own, featuring video clips you’ve shot yourself. The service will normally cost $.99 per card (which beats a commercial greeting card and the necessary stamp, hands down, anyway), but is completely free from now until August 1st.

Thanks, Asha!

One of the things I’m finally learning in my old age is that life is too short for crappy make-up. (Can I get an “AMEN!” on that? Thank you.)

I don’t happen to be a devotee of Bare Escentuals, but I know plenty of people who swear by their products. If you’re interested in trying them out, or are already a disciple, you won’t want to miss this deal.

Get $108 worth of Bare Escentuals for just $44.98 for a limited time. This “Friendship Color Collection” contains everything you need for a beautiful face, and a case to carry it all in. Or something. I dunno, I’m a bit slow when it comes to make-up. I tend to buy one lip gloss at a time and feel very pleased when I remember to actually wear it. But that’s me.

This is a great chance to stock up if you—unlike me—have some willpower.

Candy Crate bills themselves as a “Nostalgic Candy and Gift Store,” and carries many of our favorite retro candies. Pop Rocks, people. They have Pop Rocks. And Fun Dip. And Jujubees. All sorts of delicious things, really.

Use coupon code JUNE25 to take an additional 25% off your order until June 30th.

Now, if I buy a case of candy? I’ll eat a case of candy. So this deal isn’t for me. But maybe you’re throwing a birthday bash for some little girls who would love candy necklaces…? Maybe you need some rocket pops for the 4th of July…? Maybe you could have a case of candy in your house and not be glutton like me…? Whatever. Enjoy!

Sadly, I have no need of anything featured in this sale, but perhaps you’d like to spice things up at home, or you have a girlfriend who’s about to get married, or you need a couple of funny gifts for a bachelor party. Enter the Playboy Store clearance sale!

(Hey, it’s not all smut. They have a nice Orange County Choppers hat, if your guy is into them. And an entire section of gadgets. Plus I’m sure we all know someone who needs the “I read the articles” pint glasses.)

There’s nothing too racy there, I promise. Just be careful of the models. Someone could put an eye out with one of those things. Just sayin’.

[Many thanks to the excrutiatingly pretty Enjay for the following!]

Order a free beaded bracelet kit and actually get two kits… as well as that warm fuzzy feeling deep down in your toes, too. How?

By ordering a free Make the Connection bracelet kit, you will be helping to advance cervical cancer education and outreach. For every pair of bracelet kits ordered, Merck will donate one dollar to Cancer Research and Prevention Foundation, up to $100,000, for cervical cancer awareness and screening programs among medically underserved women.

Let me get this straight: I get two bracelet kits, and Merck ponies up some money for medical research? I almost forgive them for that awful Tell Someone ad campaign. Almost.